I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
