Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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