haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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