these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
