Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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