Are we in a gay sports bar?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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