apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
