I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
