You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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