sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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