I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
