You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
