so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
