Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
