She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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