my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
