Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize