I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
