no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
