Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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