i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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