I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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