i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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