So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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