she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
