Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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