I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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