Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
a search helicopter?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
