alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize