FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
