why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
