lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize