You're completely useless in the revolution.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
