I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
