I wish I could punch you in the face.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
