i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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