And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
