What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
