It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
