He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
