I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ketchup is God's man juice
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
