Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
