We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just gargled with NyQuil
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
