i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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