I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
