Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
