Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
