I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
