your thong is hanging out like whoa
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
