this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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