Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
