we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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