I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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