She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
