I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
