i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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