Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
