i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
