You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
did you just send me my own nude
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
