I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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