Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
