9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
